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Submitted on
May 9, 2008
File Size
630 bytes


9 (who?)
This little piece of fan fiction was my entry in a Discworld Monthly contest that gave the participants the challenge to explain how they would assassinate the nigh-unkillable Achchancellor Mustrum Ridcully. I was fortunate enough to win this contest, and am quite proud of what I came up with. However Deviant Art does not appear to support PDF format (or maybe I just can't figure out how to get it to work), so I am afraid that in order to read this you will have to use the link I am providing below.

A while ago Discworld Monthly hosted a contest in honor of the release of the Hogfather movie. The contest was a sort of search for the next Jonathan Teatime, and gave the participants the challenge to explain how they would assassinate the nigh-unkillable Achchancellor Mustrum Ridcully. I was fortunate enough to win this contest, and am quite proud of what I came up with.
What we have here is a sort of short story that I wrote. It is in PDF format, and is about 1 1/2 Megs in size, so give it a little time to load. Aside from the story it contains a fair amount of image manipulation, from the cover art to the images throughout the text. I did not draw any of the images you see in it, but I did spend a lot of time Photshopping it together from found images. I hope you enjoy this, I received quite a lot of positive feedback about it, so I think you will.

Some people have expressed disappointment that they are not able to view the PDF (even with the link) So I am adding the indvidual pages to Deviant Art as images.

Cover Page - Page 1 - Page 2 - Page 3
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Nutcase9 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Student General Artist
He found a plan even better than Teatime's, it's a miracle! :D
kingkenya Featured By Owner May 4, 2014
A marvellous piece of work, although I don't think they would want to upset Death by interfering with his work so, after all, he is their stock in trade. Apart from that, the art is beautiful, and the idea is original, very well done indeed.
AltoClarinetist Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
I'd love to see him try this plan. I am very glad my roommate was not sleeping when I was reading about the ingredients, Heck, it's a miracle I didn't wake anyone else in the building laughing.
AndrewSalt Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2013
I'm glad you enjoyed it, I had fun writing it.

WritingBunny Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
Very good!
I wonder how the would-be assassin would react to running into Albert in Death's realm.
AgProv Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Oh... wow. What can I say apart from "this is perfection?" I've already put up a link to this piece on the L-Space Wiki and urged my own group of Terry fans to come and see this near-perfect meeting of fan-fiction and fan-art (if you're OK about that.)

A lot of my own fan-fiction revolves around the Guild of Assassins and its doings and intricacies. the best of it has been kindly received and one or two fans have done me the ultimate favour of saying they cannot tell where Terry's voice ends and mine begins. (The best accolade a fanfic writer can get?).

With future fanfic in mind - could I quote from your piece as if it were an actual "real-life" document lodged in the Black Library? This would be in the context of a career Assassin who is also the Guild's resident teacher in Exothermic Alchemy (blowing things up) looking for new and interesting improvised explosives, and coming across the notes made by the Assassin Andrew Salt in the Black library. Naturally you would be credited and readers advised that the document from which I am quoting is not my invention - full credit would be given along with a link.

I write on under the name A.A. Pessimal. [link] should you wish to check my writing is good enough to be graced by yours.

With sheer astonishment and apprecviation of the thing of beauty you have crafted!
AndrewSalt Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2013
Sorry it has been so long sineI have checked comments here. If you still care, feel free to reference my work.

lesserlessergodtop Featured By Owner May 30, 2011
Assasinate Ridcully? b-b-but He's AMAZING!
ricorum Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
This is literally some of the best work I have ever seen. Well done.
AndrewSalt Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2010
Thanks, I am pretty proud of it
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